I had one of those days a few years back that really tested my resolve as a teacher. We were about three weeks into the year, and my 5th hour, had been a pretty difficult group. In working with my co-teacher, we were hoping to create an environment of engagement and collaboration versus one of submission and control. But our attempts were proving to be ineffective. On one particular day, I walked into the room to find a young woman wrapping the cord of the window blinds around her neck, a fellow classmate who then went into some type of anxiety triggered seizure, and a third student who felt the need to pull down his pants and reveal his underwear to the class. When both my co-teacher and I returned to our room after dealing with seizures and pantslessness, we discovered that. . . the young woman who had been wrapping the cord around her neck had now locked us out of the room! It was a moment of absolute absurdity. And my long-time co-teacher and I, a bit stunned by everything that had happened, took a step back from the door, and had a good laugh!
The entire sequence happened so fast, but the impact was far reaching. There were certainly some technical things I knew I needed to fix and change, but more importantly, I needed to first unpack some of the emotional and social pieces of this event.
As teachers, we are emotional and social beings trying to do the best we can to guide, nurture, and inspire other emotional and social beings. And as emotional beings, we frequently feel the extreme highs and lows of working with students. Reflection is an important part of processing these thoughts and feelings-- though, as I will address a little later, this differs from dwelling and ruminating. Unpacking our emotions after a particularly difficult or even traumatic experience is important. I find this to be especially true when I carry the weight of something big on my heart for hours at a time. My head just can not quite stop racing around it.
Reflective writing is an especially effective tool at this point. This differs from a rant or a bombast that you intend to send to someone. Hopefully, it’s a more honest inventory of your heart and how you can begin to make sense of the events. In some cases, I appreciate writing about things on my heart because doing so brings something formless and inchoate into existence. Once it’s on the page, it has form. It is bounded and can be more meaningfully addressed.
Tips for processing emotions through reflection
Take a walk (or exercise). I know of at least one colleague who will often go for a run just before he goes home for the night. He states that he will really push himself in those runs in order to allow his mind and body to reset for the remainder of the day. On the more pragmatic side, you might consider taking a 15-20 minute walk. In fact, a 2017 study showed that just fifteen minutes of walking in nature reduces anxiety and stimulates creative thought (Edwards, 2017).
Write What You Feel. These writings are not meant to be read by anyone else. Your feelings are valid. Let them come out and express themselves. Acknowledge your pain, confusion, and frustration.
Be honest. After the initial emotional burst, take a moment to offer an honest evaluation of your own role. What were potential missteps you took? Or what might have been the larger context under which the other actors were working? Resist the urge to label the choices of others as pathological (or simply evil). Even though it might be what we feel, we have to develop frames of thinking that seek to address and improve the situation, not simply remove the student from the class-- which is typically the only solution available when we label them as simply evil.
Edwards, Meghan K., et al. “Differential Experimental Effects of a Short Bout of Walking, Meditation, or Combination of Walking and Meditation on State Anxiety Among Young Adults.” American Journal of Health Promotion, vol. 32, no. 4, 2017, pp. 949–958., doi:10.1177/0890117117744913.
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