Beyond just the value of writing ourselves into understanding, written reflection can also serve as important information for our future selves. Remember, we tend to recall the things we like and bury the things we don’t. So a written record of our lives in the classroom keeps us more honest about our shortcomings and mistakes. I recall a reflection I had written at the end of one year that stated, “Your failure rates were much higher this year. I think that you could have been more proactive and consistent with your calls home. Those have historically been an effective tool in addressing students who are not handing in work.” In this case, I am much less likely to make that mistake again. Additionally, had I not returned to that reminder six months later, I’m not sure I would have caught it.
Sometimes it is painful to re-read those past reflections. Honestly, re-living some of those memories can be traumatic. Or, we re-read them and wince because from a distance we can see our flaws and mistakes much more clearly. In fact, this psychological tendency has been studied quite thoroughly. In a 2017 study, Seto and Schlegel concluded that people tend to think of their present selves as a more authentic representation of who they really are than their past selves. And people are fairly certain that their future selves will be even closer to their “true selves.” Knowing this helps to explain why reading our past reflections can sometimes be painful. It’s also a good warning because for as much as we would like to believe that our current manifestation is significantly better than our past manifestation, there is a good chance (as indicated in the writings) that we are simply making the same mistakes.
Here are some helpful mental frames to use when looking back on past reflections:
Evaluate the Original Reflection. With the distance of time, sometimes we notice things that we perhaps didn’t fully realize in the moment. I remember finishing my trimester in the fall of 2016. It was a really difficult time. My classes were a little more unsettled than usual. Student “buy-in” was lower than normal. And it felt like the relationship building process took much longer than normal. At the time, my reflections tended to focus on a few outspoken individuals and my inability to engage them. By the end of December however, my classes were totally different, much more willing to engage, participate, and work. At the time, I attributed the breakdowns to things I was doing and specific personality combinations. Six months later, I really began to wonder if the cause (at least in part) was related to an uncertainty and anxiety by the entire community over the ongoing drama of the Presidential Elections. My original assessment became more unclear with the passage of time.
Don’t Skip Over the Tough Stuff. As you read back on your experiences, don’t shy away from those passages where you acknowledge mistakes. There is no reason to wallow in self-pity and regret, but there is good reason to acknowledge missteps and commit to avoiding them in the future.
Isolate Two or Three Changes. In working with my speech and debate students, I insist that they record parts of their speeches and then review those recordings. However, as they do this, I always remind them that the objective isn’t to complete some holistic approach of “fixing” everything. Instead, I ask them to identify two or three behaviors / features / elements beforehand. This narrows their focus and allows them to see growth in small steps, as opposed to approaching their work with the idea that either “everything is broken” or “nothing is broken.’ It’s important to approach our reflections the same way. In reading them, the goal is to isolate just a few discrete changes versus trying to completely scrap everything and start anew.
Seto, Elizabeth, and Rebecca J. Schlegel. “Becoming Your True Self: Perceptions of Authenticity across the Lifespan.” Self and Identity, vol. 17, no. 3, 2017, pp. 310–326., doi:10.1080/15298868.2017.1322530.
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